Inside out Radiance Health Coaching Blog

“If you really want a thing to heal, you have to leave it alone for a while and let it learn how to heal on its own” (Author unknown) As someone who describes herself as a recovering people pleaser, the quote above really resonated with me for a few different reasons when I first came across it. Firstly, it acknowledges that just like with physical scabs that mustn’t be picked until they are ready to fall off on their own and unless we want to end up with a scar, healing will inevitably take time. And sometimes that time lasts a lot longer than we hoped for and anticipated. And no amount of wishful thinking and willing that “thing” to heal will make much of a difference until the time and circumstances are right. And while we can use different processes such as lifestyle and dietary modifications or applying healing agents to wounds, in case of physical health problems, or use mindfulness and other emotional healing modalities in case of things to do with our minds to try and speed up the process, realistically speaking we are not in full control of how the healing is going to happen. Secondly, the quote above reminds us about the innate power of nature and our bodies to constantly heal and renew themselves if they are given a chance to without too much harsh interference on our part. Because contrary to what some of us we might think and believe, often it is those fast solutions that we reach for when we are feeling really impatient and fed up with the status quo, that can end up pushing the problem even deeper into our bodies or psyches than would have been the case if we were able to leave it alone and literally do nothing instead. Thirdly, when applied in the context of relationships with other people, this quote also reminds us that as much as it is important to take responsibility for our part in any conflict, misunderstanding or lack of flow in our interactions with others, we are not in control of the other person’s level of awareness, their moral code, or their harsh responses to us due to their triggers or lack of desire to heal themselves. And that all we can do in such circumstances is work on ourselves, while also giving the other party space to heal and process their own stuff until such time that a reconciliation or a renewed dialogue can be resumed from the position of curiosity about one another, rather than finger pointing at the other party or victimising ourselves by believing we are the perpetrator, as many people pleasers have been taught to believe early on in life. Acceptance of all those things is of crucial importance, particularly in case of chronic disease that a person has been struggling to recover from for a long time. Because by constantly pushing for the outcomes we want in the time frame that we deem acceptable and then being very disappointed and maybe even angry if those outcomes don’t materialise in the way we envisaged them to, all we are doing is effectively perpetuating the fight and flight response, which so many of us have been living in constantly for years. And which fight and flight response is also quite likely one of the crucial factors that might have made us ill and struggling to recover from that illness in the first place. If you recognise some of your own issues in what I wrote above and are curious about whether I might be the right companion and the person to help you hold the space on your own journey back to healing, why not reach out and have a one to one conversation with me. Message me for instructions on how to book your complimentary clarity call on zoom, so that we can start unpacking what might be your blocks to healing and living your most radiant life possible. With radiant blessings Barbara Inside Out Radiance Health Coach

January is a month when many women make resolutions to be healthier and lose weight. And while those goals can propel us towards feeling better, they can also be counterproductive if coming from the place of guilt, shame or wanting to keep up with others, rather than our wish to experience the best of what life has to offer and while also knowing that we are already enough as we are right now. Let’s look at weight loss for example. It is customary for many women to sign up for gym membership or various slimming clubs such a Weight Watchers or Slimming World this time of the year and often go from not being very active at all, to doing several exercise sessions a week and restricting their calorific intake quite a lot in order to encourage faster weight loss. And while both of those actions can be very positive in principle if carried out correctly, when we go about them in a wrong way, they can cause us more harm than be of help long term. First of all, many of the slimming clubs rely quite heavily on ready-made meal replacements, which although calorie and macro nutrient balanced, are unlikely to have the same nutritional benefits that eating fresh meals or naturally derived superfoods would have. So it’s not uncommon for women who follow very restrictive and low calorie diets long term to develop nutritional deficiencies, which in turn can adversely affect their health in a number of ways. Secondly, some of the meal replacements contain ingredients which can be harmful to our health, such as artificial sweeteners, many of which are carcinogenic, or anti-nutrients such as soy – which can affect both thyroid health and fertility in a negative way if consumed in excess and in its un-fermented form. And thirdly, limiting our food intake drastically, while also increasing cardiovascular activity quite a lot at the same time, can lead to adrenal burnout. This is especially true for women who are already under a lot of daily stress in their lives, as the intensive exercise is likely to raise their cortisol levels, which are likely already elevated, even higher. At the same time, such drastic food restrictions can also cause the slowing down of metabolism, as the body gets tricked into believing it’s famine season, so starts preserving already scarce resources for the rainy day, by making you burn your food at a slower rate. Which is obviously completely counterproductive to the goal you are trying to achieve. And if you are very unlucky, it can also mess up your hormonal health and fertility, as a nature’s way of preventing pregnancy with what is perceived as not enough resources to maintain it long term. So now that you know why crash dieting and killing yourself on the treadmill is not really that good for you long term, what can you do to get closer to your weight loss goals? Some of the simple strategies that you can put in place straight away include but are not limited to: 1) Getting enough sleep, as deficiencies in sleep are linked to an elevated level of a hormone responsible for increased hunger called ghrelin 2) Tweaking the timing of your largest meal to fall around midday, when metabolism is at its strongest and we are also most active, therefore require more calories to operate in the most optimal way 3) Making sure that at least some of the exercise / body movement you engage in encourages relaxation of the nervous system in order to reduce your cortisol levels What gives me an authority to speak on such subjects, you might ask? As someone who used to be an emotional eater in my 20s and 30s and who also used various slimming supplements earlier on in life, I have experienced first hand what it is like to be out of control with my eating habits, even despite relatively good foundations in that area in my childhood. As I went through life and qualified as a nutritional therapist first in 2006, and then studied counselling, as well as psychology of eating in later years, I also realised that a lot of commonly given advice about weight loss is incorrect and can have many women locked in a perpetual cycle of yoyo dieting. Which is why anyone wanting to embark on a weight optimisation journey needs to start asking questions not just about what and how to do it, but also why certain things are or are not happening for them. And those things can include emotional factors as well, by the way. If you are tired of guesswork, or doing the things you were told to do and still not getting anywhere, why not give yourself a bit of a leg up and book a no obligation Zoom chat with me. In our 30 minutes together, I will ask you about your most burning health concern and explain how working with me might benefit you, should we be a good match. To book your free Zoom call, just follow the link to my online calendar below: https://lnkd.in/ekSxe_cY I am really looking forward to connecting with you and being of service.

Sharing is caring as they say. Read my post below to find out what I have been up to lately and comment YES if you want in to be a part of it. See you on the other side ;-)

If you feel there are things you would like to share with the rest of the world right from the centre of your heart but are somewhat lacking the courage to do so, listening to this guided meditation might be just the ticket to help you break through your resistance. Invest just 8 minutes to get quiet and see what comes up for you.

Today is supposed to be a really auspicious day and one that will not come round again for over a hundred years, with the first half of today’s date mirroring the other one perfectly – 22.02:2022. Experts in numerology go as far as claiming that it is a perfect day for manifesting your heart’s wildest dreams and desires and encourage us to focus only on the things that we want to see more of in our lives. But whether you believe in numerology or think it is a lot of New Age nonsense, one thing is sure – energy definitely goes where attention flows - and that is true on any day of the year, not just today. And while we can’t say that we are 100 per cent responsible for everything that happens to us, it is certainly true that regular and consistent focus on certain issues can magnify them – which can be either positive or negative – depending on what it is that we are giving attention to. And it is not to say that by ignoring certain issues or problems they are going to magically go away, but rather that focussing on what we do want can help us re-frame our situation in a much more positive light. And from there, it might be easier to make the type of choices or attract the type of circumstances, which are likely to lead to positive changes in our lives. So, what could this look like when it comes to health and wellbeing, for example? Many of us have various challenges related to those, whether it would be because of lack of time or motivation, the ageing process or just general overwhelm with all the information that is out there about “how to” pretty much anything. And, paradoxically, in this age of free flowing and easily available information, many of us find ourselves completely confused about how to live our lives in the most positive and healthy way. So what can we do if we find ourselves stuck somewhere like that? First of all, you might want to go back to the basics and simplify everything as much as you can. If you struggle to cook from scratch, for example, use fewer ingredients and concentrate on the ones with a lot of nutrition and flavour, to guarantee success and to cut down on preparation time. And you can then use the time you saved during meal prepping on doing something nice for yourself. How about reading that book you have been promising yourself to finish for months, for example? Or if you find yourself torn between having to choose one from several different lifestyle or health related options, why not try checking in with your intuition first before seeking the answers outside, in the external world. It is amazing how, if we really get quiet and tune into ourselves, we can find out that so many answers are already there. We just need to learn how to listen to and interpret them. Having checked for the answers to your quandary with your intuition and still finding yourself unsure of which way to go, there is no shame in seeking help from others either. But again, just like with looking for the answers inside of you, the key is finding someone who operates on the same frequency as you do, so that they can tune into who you are with ease. And when you find that energetic match, life can feel quite magical once again. This principle, by the way, can be applied to finding friends, romantic partners, employers, teachers and mentors, or even therapists to work with in order to get the best outcomes possible. So, remember that life is your mirror not just on 22.02.2022. And go out there with the confidence that if you know what you desire and put your focus on it with optimism and trust, you can find those energetic matches in people and circumstances that will come into your life. Happy manifesting!

As the last two years proved, life can be extremely changeable and unpredictable. Which is why learning self care is a vital tool in our emotional well-being tool kit.

Human connections are to our souls what food is to our bodies. Without them we can function but we can't thrive.

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