As someone who describes herself as a recovering people pleaser, the quote above really resonated with me for a few different reasons when I first came across it.
Firstly, it acknowledges that just like with physical scabs that mustn’t be picked until they are ready to fall off on their own and unless we want to end up with a scar, healing will inevitably take time. And sometimes that time lasts a lot longer than we hoped for and anticipated. And no amount of wishful thinking and willing that “thing” to heal will make much of a difference until the time and circumstances are right.
And while we can use different processes such as lifestyle and dietary modifications or applying healing agents to wounds, in case of physical health problems, or use mindfulness and other emotional healing modalities in case of things to do with our minds to try and speed up the process, realistically speaking we are not in full control of how the healing is going to happen.
Secondly, the quote above reminds us about the innate power of nature and our bodies to constantly heal and renew themselves if they are given a chance to without too much harsh interference on our part.
Because contrary to what some of us we might think and believe, often it is those fast solutions that we reach for when we are feeling really impatient and fed up with the status quo, that can end up pushing the problem even deeper into our bodies or psyches than would have been the case if we were able to leave it alone and literally do nothing instead.
Thirdly, when applied in the context of relationships with other people, this quote also reminds us that as much as it is important to take responsibility for our part in any conflict, misunderstanding or lack of flow in our interactions with others, we are not in control of the other person’s level of awareness, their moral code, or their harsh responses to us due to their triggers or lack of desire to heal themselves.
And that all we can do in such circumstances is work on ourselves, while also giving the other party space to heal and process their own stuff until such time that a reconciliation or a renewed dialogue can be resumed from the position of curiosity about one another, rather than finger pointing at the other party or victimising ourselves by believing we are the perpetrator, as many people pleasers have been taught to believe early on in life.
Acceptance of all those things is of crucial importance, particularly in case of chronic disease that a person has been struggling to recover from for a long time.
Because by constantly pushing for the outcomes we want in the time frame that we deem acceptable and then being very disappointed and maybe even angry if those outcomes don’t materialise in the way we envisaged them to, all we are doing is effectively perpetuating the fight and flight response, which so many of us have been living in constantly for years.
And which fight and flight response is also quite likely one of the crucial factors that might have made us ill and struggling to recover from that illness in the first place.
If you recognise some of your own issues in what I wrote above and are curious about whether I might be the right companion and the person to help you hold the space on your own journey back to healing, why not reach out and have a one to one conversation with me.
Message me for instructions on how to book your complimentary clarity call on zoom, so that we can start unpacking what might be your blocks to healing and living your most radiant life possible.
With radiant blessings
Barbara
Inside Out Radiance Health Coach